Sadness. Sorrow. Wishes and loneliness. Underneath it all, a profound sense of pointlessness. Sorry for the self pity. I really have nothing positive to say today.
I think my brain came up with this itself, but I can’t be sure, and I think it sums up the feeling I’ve had for the past week or so that is just pervasively growing worse: “To know you are doomed, that these are your last days on Earth – and that your life was unfulfilled and will be found wanting.” I don’t know if there’s a name for that feeling. I thought 21 trigger warnings should be enough? My brain isn’t listening. Continuing to hurtle down this path. Will it come back this time? Will there be anything to come back to?
The pendulum has swung. Will the weight break it’s chain this time?