I was nominated for the Sunshine Bloggers Award by Annie from Gentlekindness. If you haven’t seen her blog(s) before, they are here:
Here are the 11 blogs I nominate, I don’t think there are any restrictions on nominations and I did try to check if people had done one before so sorry if I missed that you’d already got one:
Birth of A New Brain (currently on holiday),
Every Word You Say Edit: SORRY SORRY SORRY I typed the wrong one in after I’d decided to give it to you!!!!
You guys are awesomesauceness. You need to answer these 11 questions that I have written, nominate 11 blogs to receive the award, and write them 11 new questions (and use the picture in your post I don’t know if this is optional or not).
Here are your questions:
1. Unicorn or dragon?
3. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up (you can have more than one answer)?
4. Marmite or Vegemite?
5. Where would you like most to go on holiday, and what would you do when you got there?
6. If you could go to space (but never come back) would you do it?
7. Where’s the most random place you’ve ever slept?
8. If you could build a secret passageway in your current home, where would it go (kitchen, bathroom, secret island, lair in a volcano, etc) and how would it get there (e.g. elevator, fireman’s pole a’ la batman, stairs, rope ladder etc)?
9. If you could be anything you wanted to be, what would you be?
10. There’s a fire in your house, you only have time to take one thing out, what would you take?
11. Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time (like, really, not the ‘fake answers’ people are coached into saying for interviews)?
And, since I was obviously asked a different set of questions, here’s my answer to the questions Annie set – to write down 10-15 Core Values from the core values list here: http://corevalueslist.com/
1. Adventurous. All my life I wanted to be an adventurer/explorer as my job, then I became an adult and found out there’s no such thing any more, and I’ve been very, very lost ever since. I get depressed and distressed if my life does not have enough adventure. This can be as simple as trying to cook the Malaysian Lhaksa curry from the paste I found in Tesco, or the adventure of taking the shower out of the bathroom without a plumber (it’s our first house, this stuff is living on the EDGE man), or more “traditional” ideas of adventure like falling off a cliff and landing in a tree, or travel adventure. Oh and sexual adventure of course. That may be quite a surprise to some people and I’m only going to mention it briefly as this blog is always kept safe for work (unless you work in a convent), assuming “safe for work” means “if the IT guy saw it there’d be no repercussions on content” not “if my class of 30 11 year-olds saw it, they would be able to read and understand it.”
2. Curiosity. I’m never sure that this is really a good thing, it can cause all sorts of trouble, and I particularly try to stifle it when it’s to do with other people, because I equate it with nosiness and being pushy, but the question said “core values” not “positive attributes.”
3. Devotion. I am utterly devoted to my husband and my rabbits. I rarely talk about Himself on here because there’s not a lot to say. He is better than me in every possible way and I would follow him to the ends of the Earth if he wanted me to, and I don’t mind at all that in reality I tend to just follow him to the sofa a lot to watch him play computer games. I defer to him in every respect because he really does know best, and obviously after past experience with other human beings it has taken a long time for me to completely trust him, even though I knew from fairly early on that I probably should do. He makes me feel completely safe, no matter what we are doing or where we are going. He is the only person I will ever speak in extremes about, BUT the fact that my life isn’t perfect by any means is not his fault in any way shape or form, he is one person in a world of many, and at the end of the day I need to put the effort in to fix myself not wait for someone else to do it.
4. Dreaming. This is something I do a lot. Sometimes it gets in the way of reality. Sometimes it makes reality better.
5. Ethical. On the “Dungeons and Dragons” scale of alignment, I fluctuate from Chaotic Good to True Neutral, depending what state I’m in. This says to me that my moral compass gets affected by the bipolar. Chaotic Good is someone who tries to do the right thing, although they don’t necessarily equate “the right thing” with “the legal thing” and tend to get the job done rather than worry about rules and legalities (but not where it would harm someone, otherwise they would be Chaotic Neutral or Evil). True Neutral people strive for balance. So one day they might be all “free Tibet” then if Tibet got free and started attacking China, they may shift their efforts towards raising money to help China (this is a fictional example that I made up). It’s the capacity to re-assess the situation and view it objectively, deciding which side is out of balance, then the ability to take action in changing your own viewpoint to continue to strive for balance. What underscores all my states is that I hate laws that are pointless or only benefit the lawmakers, and I won’t mindlessly follow rules or comply without a LOT of resistance if I don’t see the point. I also cannot enforce stupid, meaningless or pointless rules, and this is really why I stopped teaching. I like to have the autonomy to use my own judgement, not be bound to a “chewing gum always means a trip to the head of year’s office” type regime.
6. Forgiveness: I forgive people. I don’t think that exonerates them from taking responsibility for their actions and learning from them. But I do think it means I don’t have to waste energy maintaining negative emotional states regarding people. I don’t think it’s easy or instant and I don’t think it’s a good thing to use as an excuse to repress feelings about something (which so many people seem to do). I think forgiveness requires you to work through the damn emotions and get to the bottom of them, then fling them out and move the hell on.
7. Honesty: I am honest. I subscribe to the “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything” school of thought. I don’t think honesty is subject to interpretation (I’m not saying there’s some fundamental truth, but I think to the best of our own individual knowledge each of us is capable of being utterly honest), I don’t like being around people who lie, embellish, or fudge the truth to improve people’s perceptions about themselves, and I think the great skill of diplomacy isn’t learning how to lie, it’s learning how to be completely honest without being hurtful to people (I don’t have this skill yet). Sometimes, though, you can’t avoid upsetting someone. I wear my heart on my sleeve but I’ll scratch your eyes out if you try to hurt it.
8. Imagination: I don’t like to blow my own trumpet, but I think I’m the single most imaginative person I know. Particularly when it comes to writing stories. I don’t need to whip it out and compare – it’s the only thing about myself that I have complete confidence in.
9. Informative: I love to teach people things, explain things, show people how to do things. If I know it and someone else doesn’t, I’ll try to remedy that. I like it when other people do the same, I love being more informed about things.
10. Integrity: I have too much of this. It’s the single reason why I’m broke. If I chose to, I could do exactly what those evil salespeople and moneymakers and beauty floggers do and earn millions of pounds and not care who I hurt. But I choose not to. I choose to stick by my own personal code of integrity. Because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t care who I hurt and one day, I’d see what I’d done and be horrified. Integrity is a choice I make every single day, a commitment to not just bleaching away my own internal landscape. People who don’t have integrity think that people like me are stupid because we don’t do what they do. They don’t realise that we are all capable of it, we just don’t take their path because we can see where it leads to.
11. Legacy: One of the things that holds me back a lot in life is that I have an overarching fear that one day, I will die, and no-one will have any idea who I was or what I did. I will just stop existing and disappear and my whole life and everything I ever tried to do will fade away and have all been for nothing. This stops me from being content when I find things that make me happy, because it’s always pulling me in a different direction. I am hoping this will go away one day.
12. Loyal: This is not a good thing. When my mum was hospitalized when I was three, I refused to leave her side. I refused to go with social workers who wanted to put me in care. I caused them all sorts of trouble and when they tried to take me away, I clung to the bedpost like my life depended on it and fought like a demon until they had to call one of my mum’s friends to come and get me. When I was seventeen, and social services told my sister and I that they could get us out of the situation we were in (three different child abuse categories – emotional, physical and neglect, plus a fourth category courtesy of someone else), I couldn’t leave. If I did, there would be no-one to look after her. When everyone was telling me to stop going to see my dad, because he was “worthless” and “no good,” I kept going to see him until I couldn’t bear it anymore, because it was too hurtful to see someone I cared about destroying themselves, but not because he was “worthless.” His loss in April was profound, I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.
13. Nurturing: Another big reason I quit teaching, and I think why it triggered such a bad mental breakdown (twice in 14 months), was because I wanted to help the children to grow into well-rounded, capable and confident young adults who were ready to face the challenges of the world. The schools I worked at thought I should be teaching the children to be compliant and average members of the public. I guess I never stop looking after things, even when I can’t look after myself.
14. Openness: Another one that I can’t help – I have no filter, everything comes out, I don’t always know what’s important and what isn’t, and I tend to say too much or info-dump to make sure people are kept updated on things.
15. Resourceful: Like freakin’ MacGuyver. I always have a cigarette lighter in my handbag even though I stopped smoking in 2010 (don’t ask me what the “magic secret” was; I just got bored and forgot about it, then 6 months later I was like “huh. I seem to have stopped smoking. How’d that happen?” I never intended to and I used to quite enjoy it. I guess that’s my impulsiveness). I do also sometimes get stuck on problems when I don’t know how to solve them, though.
Impulsive wasn’t on the list, but as my last post explains, it’s definitely my corest of core values at the centre of everything I do and say. And learning to not be impulsive is hard.
And 11 attributes I could specifically pick out and say, “I definitely don’t have these:”
1. Bravery (people accuse me of this from time to time. Along with strength. I guess it’s cos I’m not dead yet).
2. Certainty (yes, the irony)
3. Chastity (bwahahahahahaha)
4. Coherence (wish I)
5. Diplomacy (I wish)
6. Direction (I wish)
7. Knowledgable (I wish)
8. Memorable (everyone I’ve ever known tends to forget I exist)
9. Noble (thank God I don’t have this)
10. Performance (I can get stage fright while having a conversation with one person, this also really killed teaching for me; kids were fine, observers were not),
11. Politeness (do you ever feel like you didn’t get the memo about what you should and shouldn’t do in social situations, and yet everyone else just seems to innately know…)
12. Purity (lol – who was writing this list, who thought lack of sex was such a core value it needed two slots; purity is a social construct that denies our true nature and makes people feel bad for going with their instincts, IMO)
13. Stability (nope nope nope)
14. Valiant (see noble)
15. Zen (oh how I wish I did have this though)