So yesterday was exhausting but I tried to catch up with blogs in the evening. I was on the TV set for 10 hours and I was mostly naked and it was very cold. Overall it was a positive experience though and the positives definitely far outweighed the negatives and I spent most of the day pretending to eat someone’s muff. I can’t go into any more details due to the non-disclosure agreement, but it was for a show that airs on the BBC so it’s not porn or anything (sadly lol – I did meet a porn actor but he only did gay porn so had no advice about which straight/lesbian studios were any good).
Then this morning I overslept bigtime and my Dearest was left to make his own way to school. And my phone had 2 missed calls/ 2 messages so I phoned back and it was the coffe place/cafe/restaurant (I don’t want to be specific but they do table delivery service although you go to the counter to order) who offered me the job as a supervisor at their food place. I start Monday.
I’m still ambivalent about this though because I wasn’t sure that I was ready to go back to work, and I don’t know what it’ll mean for my acting and writing, will I still have time? What about getting the house organized? At the interview I explained about the bipolar disorder and how it affects me, that sometimes I’m quiet for no reason and sometimes I can’t leave the house. I thought that was going to be the dealbreaker but they seemed ok about it (I wasn’t sure until I got offered the job this morning whether this was legitimately ok or not). I know I’m not usually upfront about my bipolar disorder but I felt like it was the right thing to do in this instance.
I also explained about how I sometimes get called to do acting/walk on work, and that I would do it if I could get time off but I wouldn’t call in sick – unless it was Game of Thrones. The manager thought that someone would almost definitely switch shifts with me if it was for that though lol. When I think about everything I’ve managed to do lately, I feel slightly positive, particularly since I haven’t been on mood stabilizers since several days ago, due to trying to conceive. Am going back on them after I stop ovulating, if (and only if) I have a negative pregnancy test result. Otherwise, I’m going to wait until I can’t sleep again.
I’m also ambivalent because we’re trying for a baby and I would feel bad taking time off or not coming back, but I guess it won’t hurt to have something to do between now and then (as long as I don’t get very bad morning sickness, even the combined contraceptive pill used to give me that – but it also gave me migraines, mood swings and confusion, so I’m hoping it was the synthetic oestrogen, not oestrogen full stop otherwise this is going to be really bad) and there’s always the chance I might not conceive, which I need to consider.
I’m also ambivalent about it because I’m worried that I’m biting off more than I can chew with this whole thing, and that I’ll be exhausted from everything. I did ask for a 30 hours a week contract though instead of the standard 43 hours full time one, so hoping that helps relieve the potential for exhaustion. A lot of me wants to just stay home and get the house organized.
And I’ve just been called about working on a TV soap (do you guys have soaps in America? They’re like Melrose Place, or maybe the telenovelas, but less glamorous) next Wednesday so I worry about taking time off when I’m just starting my job, but I did say to him on the phone that I might need another day off next week. And I guess the major advantage is that I’m nearly always free on weekends when my job is busiest. I need to get myself into Equity (the acting union) and on Spotlight (directory of all professional actors); I might actually get enough work this year to make them both viable and worth paying to do.
But yeah… I’m gainfully employed. Um…