Why do people stop their meds and kill babies?

I am getting fed up of seeing on the internet things like this:

“Sometimes people who have a mental health problem stop taking their medication. If you do this without talking to your doctor or midwife when you become pregnant, this can make your illness return or get worse, so it’s important to talk to them before making any changes.”

Or this:

“Many studies have been done to identify the reasons why some individuals with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder refuse to take medication. The following four reasons appear to be the most important.”

It goes on to list 1. lack of awareness of being mentally ill 2. Drug/alcohol abuse 3. “Poor relationships with mental health provider” and 4. “Medication side effects.”

Everyone EVERYWHERE misses the reasons that I think are the MOST important for healthcare providers to understand:

  1. The cost of a prescription.
  2. Being in a fit state to leave the house and go to the doctors, get the prescription, then go to the pharmacy and cash it in.
  3. Some antipsychotics/antidepressants make you sleepy.  I can see people sleeping through their doses quite easily as you lose touch with time/reality a bit when you’re on some of them (I’m looking at YOU amitryptylene and quetiapine).

How is this so difficult for healthcare providers to fathom?  Oh, I get it, if you make out we’re “refusing” to take them or that we have a “poor relationship with our mental health provider” then we can be labeled as “noncompliant” and then you can maintain the control.

It seems to me that these studies and websites are always written by people who have an underlying need to control other people’s behaviour.  Is it really so hard to understand that meds which make you sleepy, make you miss a dose of them??  Is it so hard to understand that people won’t take things that make them feel worse than they did before, and before was pretty shit?  Do we have to keep being treated like we’re stupid, like we’re all alcoholics on heroin, who start fights with psychiatrists and vomit on their shoes whilst being blissfully unaware that we’re not actually hunting whales with David Copperfield?

Some of the most insightful, intelligent and thoughtful people I have ever come across have the most severe and debilitating mental illnesses (mostly bipolar, but I’m biased towards reading people who go through what I go through), and some of the most ignorant, uninformed, and unwilling to listen to reason people I’ve ever met have been “health care professionals” working with people with mental illnesses, or people who have placed themselves in an assumed position of expertise about the same and taken it upon themselves to write generic and shit websites with no real information or advice.  What a waste of bandwidth!

Here’s my sources:

http://treatmentadvocacycenter.org/resources/consequences-of-lack-of-treatment/anosognosia/1375-why-individuals-with-severe-psychiatric-disorders-often-do-not-take-their-medications

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/mental-health-problems-pregnant.aspx

In similar irritation today, I was told when I turned up for my appointment at the aptly named “Family Planning Clinic” that they’ve changed their minds since Friday, and now won’t see you if you don’t want to kill your unborn baby.  Which is the opposite of what I was told on Friday, so I did actually vomit on their floor before I left.  Morning sickness is a bitch, and the sheer amount of effort it had taken for me to get to the clinic after waiting a week to see someone about being pregnant has really taken its toll.  I looked at their website which goes on and on about “pregnancy” not “abortion,” I even said to them “it’s called Family PLANNING clinic” but apparently none of them have any interest in the fact that they are falsely advertising, wasting my time and lying on the phone, and the bitchy nurse interrupted me and just told me to go and see my GP.  Which I can’t do because the receptionist THERE will only schedule a fucking appointment if you want to kill your unborn child as well.  What am I supposed to do???

Why is it easier to kill an unborn baby than to keep it???  Why is there no third option (the one I want) which is: “I want to try and stay pregnant for as long as possible but I know I have problems, I’ve already vomited more than 20 times since Monday and had over 10 severe migraines since conception as well as a constant headache, and if I need to give up on this pregnancy in a couple of months, I need that option.”  Why is that not a valid choice?  Why can’t they just assume you’re keeping it and take care of you accordingly instead of ignoring you and turning you away until you tell them otherwise?  It’s not like we don’t KNOW our options and rights!  Like they think it’s so clear cut, that you know before you’ve experienced pregnancy whether you are coping with it or suicidal?  This laissez faire attitude towards abortion is really appalling but only BECAUSE it’s easier to find information about killing it than keeping it.  I have no idea what to expect, who refers me to who or when… and nobody else does either.  As I told the nurse at the family planning clinic, nobody is taking responsibility for this baby that I’m trying to take responsibility for!!  And I’m supposed to be a high risk pregnancy, and yet I can’t even get a nurse or doctor to confirm by blood test that I’m however many weeks pregnant, tell me when it’s due and refer me for essential pregnancy services such as someone checking the baby’s growing properly/still alive/whatever the hell they do ultrasound for!

When did the world get so fucked up that killing someone was easier than letting them live?

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Author: MsAdventure

I am a twentysomething travel, photography and beauty blogger who occasionally writes about other topics. Within travel, I tend to write mostly about Europe because all the other travel bloggers seem to write about South East Asia. As a writer, I have written articles that are published in Offbeat Bride and on Buzzfeed, and as a photographer, I have taken photographs that are published in local and national news outlets in the UK. I have a blog at www.delightandinspire.com

11 thoughts on “Why do people stop their meds and kill babies?”

    1. Um, thanks, but…? Considering keeping the baby?? This was a planned pregnancy! I’m trying my very best to keep the baby but I have a lot of medical problems that have a good chance of making it a choice between the baby dying or both of us dying.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh I didn’t realize it was planned! I can’t believe they are giving you such a hassle over a PLANNED pregnancy!

        I have to wonder how do people develop their ethics these days? Where do they come up with these corrupt standards? Or maybe the just don’t bother with trivial things like morals principles!

        Send them to ISIS!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lol, I just don’t know where they get off calling it a “Family Planning” clinic when we planned our family (we are married, I’m nearly 30, and we should even have our ideal birth month – mid to late July as my OH is a teacher so he’ll get the summer to bond with the baby) and they said at the clinic that they could make a referral to the pregnancy people last week but yesterday they didn’t want to know! I’ve refused to tell the GP’s receptionist why I want an appointment now so I’ve got one for 1st Dec.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. With all the set backs I bet this baby turns out to be such a blessing!

        Your bundle of sunshine, in the midst of a health care facility (that should be prepared for planned pregnancies being as that is what they are named for) with workers so enveloped in misery they probably detest their own dreary existence…Blessings are born from adversity 🙂

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      4. With all the set backs I bet this baby turns out to be such a blessing!

        Your bundle of sunshine, in the midst of a health care facility (that should be prepared for planned pregnancy being as that is what they call themselves) with workers that are enveloped in misery own dreary existence

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  1. My advice? Ring up the gp surgery again and don’t tell them why you need to see a doctor. Pick a doctor you know you get along with if you can. If the receptionist asks you for a reason, explain that it’s a very personal matter. They can’t force you to tell them. Considering health problems you’ve mentioned, getting you checked out regularly is really important for both of you. If you’re fed up of arguing with the receptionist, I’m happy to come over and help. Let me know if I can be useful X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. THANK YOU I tried this and I’ve now got a double appt with a doctor (only met one at my surgery so no idea if he’s ok or not) for 1st Dec. Finally feel like I’m getting somewhere! Now if I can just stop being sick round the clock. I got maybe 2 hours sleep last night from it, can’t keep anything down today.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Awesome! If you want someone to be chaperone and the furry one is working, let me know and I’ll try to be there. Not sure if I’ll have to work that day yet or not so early warning would help if you need me. 🙂 as for the morning sickness are you keeping fluids down? I’m assuming you have my number now so feel free to ring for moral support. I plan on doing some writing and emails this afternoon so could bring them round if I can be of use 🙂

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      2. I don’t know if I’m working that day let alone Himself! I would assume he is as he has a very predictable timetable. I was just going to turn up with a list of questions. I’m keeping some fluids down but not all. I think my stomach is emptying more quickly than usual because twice I’ve brought nothing up despite practically turning inside out (lovely mental image sorry). I still don’t have your number (He is particularly bad at this whole generally communicating things thing, I don’t even have his parents’ number) but I will try and harass him for it again later. I think mostly I just want to go back to bed. I’m supposed to be on my way to a family gathering right now but I’m just not confident that I can drive that far in this state. More reasons for my half-sister to think I’m useless. Oh well, no energy to care right now. Thanks for offering to come round but it’s probably best if you don’t at this point!

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      3. Useless furry human :p I found the email address on the blog and sent you a message earlier which includes my mobile number. I hope some sleep will help. The offer still stands if you change your mind. Tell the bunnies to show you lots of love. xx

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