This week’s photography challenge was a real challenge for me. The topic was State of Mind. As my regular readers know, I have a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which sometimes makes it difficult for me to identify what I’m feeling and why. This can make it difficult to express my responses to things because my status quo is to not really feel anything until a long time after the event (but when I get emotionally de-regulated, for example by grief, I have so many feelings that I don’t know what to do with them all). So I have probably spent more time trying to find a picture for this challenge than any other.
I chose this picture because I often feel like I am in possession of this great and ancient amazing structure, this human brain, which has so many possibilities (and there’s so many ways to get it to bluescreen when you have PTSD and bipolar disorder) and hidden features that it’s like excavating an ancient site that no-one’s really heard of. Sometimes my brain does weird stuff and I have to spend ages figuring out why it did that, how did that response get elicited, and other times it’s just happy to chug along at 5% of its full capacity, keeping house while someone else does the important stuff. Sometimes all it can do is absorb input (when I’m learning everything I can), other times it can’t absorb anything until it’s broadcast all the stuff it’s accumulated (when all I can do is create). I’m still figuring it all out; I think we all are. My state of mind is an evolutionary and environmental enigma. So I decided to illustrate it with another enigma. This is Dun Troddan, one of the Brochs of Scotland, mysterious towers, thousands of years old, built predominantly in the north of Scotland by mysterious methods, in varying states of preservation:
And here’s a bonus picture of the back of the broch, showing some of its construction:
If you’d like to know more about Brochs, I’ve made a 3 minute video about them, focussing on Tappoch Broch in Torwood (near Falkirk), and explaining some of the archaeology (I have a degree in archaeology but I’m by no means an expert on brochs) which you can see here.