This amazing Red Sonja cosplay was brought to you by tinfoil, a £1 bikini off ebay, a red wig and some make up. It’s a tutorial but I’ve done it in a “follow me making my Red Sonja cosplay” style. Yes, that’s my natural waist and abs (as seen in the Princess Leia cosplay in February). I am 29 and I refuse to grow up and stop playing dress up.
I decided to do this cosplay this week so I can look back and remember the innocent time when I used to dress up in ridiculously skimpy outfits and go out to places with people, when it never occurred to me that I might lose my boobs to cancer (or gender dysphoria for that matter). Red Sonja’s good for dysphoria because she’s supposed to look slightly manly, anyway. In the movie, I would say Red Sonja was the sexiest androgynous person I’ve ever seen. It did help that she was being flanked by Arnie’s Conan.
This came about because I have to go to the hospital tomorrow with a lump in my boob, and when I was writing my family history and making calls to check things, I discovered there were a total of 7 cases of breast cancer in my immediate family in the last 18 years and 2 cases of ovarian cancer, distributed on both sides of the family. It’s therefore very likely that I have the genes with the 87% chance of breast cancer and 50% chance of ovarian. If this lump isn’t cancer, I’ve got a hard decision to make about preventative surgery. If it is, then I’m going to lose my boobs because I’m not pissing around when it comes to cancer, I’m going to hit it hard.
Girls, fuck body confidence. Fuck dysphoria, too. Make the most of what you’ve got while you’ve got it. You can always look worse than you do now. See, I’ve worked it out. It’s not about being pretty, it’s about accepting that you’re not, that there’s no such thing as pretty, and dressing how you want to anyway.
Given the circumstances, I am shamelessly proud of this cosplay. It might be the last sexy one I get to do for a while, depending on what the results are tomorrow. Also for the record I always thought Red Sonja’s chain mail bikini was WAY sexier than Leia’s gold bikini. But we shall see (if I ever get a chance to cosplay slave Leia* beyond my bedroom).
*Sorry, Disney, I meant dancing girl Leia. I’m sure she was being paid very well by Jabba for her time and efforts.