A Master’s degree dilemma…

I was hoping to have a few days now I’ve finished writing my latest book (just wait for the edits to come back…..) to just unwind and chill out, but it hasn’t really worked out that way. For starters, I’ve increased my dosage of medication back up to what it should have been, and mysteriously, some of my side effects seem to have improved (others have not). Weird.

The main issue is, I set myself a deadline of researching and applying for a master’s degree by this coming Friday. If I don’t do one this year I can’t do one at all.

Tuesday’s gone (and Wednesday) and I’ve narrowed it down to either computing or writing, but I can’t pick between them it’s so damn hard. Part of me likes to imagine that if I did a MA in Creative Writing (or journalism, or marketing, or theatre writing…), that I might actually write really good books that became number 1 bestsellers and that I might actually feel like writing could be my career. I genuinely don’t know if that’s delusions of grandeur though, because the problem with being diagnosed bipolar is suddenly every damn thing you thought you were good at is completely indistinguishable from a delusion of grandeur. How does anyone with bipolar maintain confidence without letting it tip into delusions of grandeur? It’s as bad as the “was it a religious experience or was it ideas of reference?” conundrum. I literally second guess every stupid thing because I don’t know how else to keep myself in check. I can’t allow myself to think that I might be successful at anything, or good at anything, or a nice person, or whatever, I have to constantly believe that I’m not. And then that takes me into depression again.

I’ve sold 1000 copies of my last book now, BTW (God knows how, it only has 3.5 stars), but I still don’t feel like writing is a sustainable (or legitimate) career choice, and every time I have to make edits I feel like complete crap, through no fault of the editor, I just have no self esteem at all.

Add to that, I always wanted to do computing but believed for the longest time that I didn’t have the aptitude for it, so I’m naturally super nervous about doing it as a potential career change despite being constantly proven wrong about my ability with computers.

It’s like there’s these two diametrically opposed interests pulling me in two different directions.

Has anyone reading either studied Creative Writing or studied programming who could possibly tell me what they gained from either? Did it move you forward in your career?

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Author: MsAdventure

I am a twentysomething travel, photography and beauty blogger who occasionally writes about other topics. Within travel, I tend to write mostly about Europe because all the other travel bloggers seem to write about South East Asia. As a writer, I have written articles that are published in Offbeat Bride and on Buzzfeed, and as a photographer, I have taken photographs that are published in local and national news outlets in the UK. I have a blog at www.delightandinspire.com

5 thoughts on “A Master’s degree dilemma…”

  1. What’s your vision? How does either degree fit in to the big picture that you have for yourself? Regardless of which path you choose… commit fully. Give it your all. Avoid woulda shoula coulda. Each step forward is progress. Even with your writing… a need for edit is not a sign of failure. It’s a step in creating a better story. I always hear writing is re-writing. How many people do you know who’ve sold 1000 copies of a book? How many people do you know who have written a book? You’re a success! Good luck in whatever path you choose!

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    1. Thank you, that’s very helpful for narrowing it down! All things considered, I’m applying for Archaeological Information Systems, a blend of computer science and archaeology (remote sensing, data management etc), which (funnily enough) has a 40-credit module on digital publishing and a placement option with data/archive services. My first degree was archaeology so it fits.

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    1. Thanks, I keep seeing the figures, but I can’t let myself believe it’s good when people on the NYT bestseller list sell 7500 copies in a week (I sold 1000 copies in 30 days)! I’m just a tiny fish in a really big pond. We’ll see how the next one pans out….

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