Blahpolar Ulla miss you

I don’t really have the hugest amount to say; I’m still in shock, since I only found out this morning that Blah had been killed by bipolar disorder.

I recently acquired a graphics tablet that I was going to use for my MSc, and yesterday while trying to get it to work I drew this tree, but I didn’t know why I drew it. I don’t believe in all that psychic whatnots (except when I need medicating) so I’m not going to say it’s fate, because if it was, why didn’t fate tell me about Blah’s vigil yesterday while it was still happening instead of my WordPress failing to load until today?

So anyway, I finished this picture today in memory of Blahpolar. Ulla. She was always so encouraging after she found out that I used to have a webcomic, so I thought she would like this picture, even though she can’t see it. I put the sweet on there, because I finally worked out that it’s two bipolarcoasters overlaid. Too late. I’m always too late.

You’ll have to forgive the fact that I’m not actually very good at drawing, and that this was my first attempt ever at using a graphics tablet or drawing on a computer, and that I am struggling to make Krita work properly so had to finish the picture in Microsoft Paint. But I know she wouldn’t have cared about any of that stuff because she was one of those people who really lived by “it’s the thought that counts.”

Look, I know none of that makes sense; maybe it shouldn’t do.

This was her favorite version of one of her favorite songs:

This is what I said on her last post on WordPress, just in case anyone’s curious. There’s a lot of comments on there and I expect there will be a lot more to come. I tried to read other people’s comments but there were so many that I had to stop after about twenty because I was crying too much. She meant so much to so many people. I hope her blog stays online, she deserves that:

“She was a truly awesome person. She always knew the right thing to say whether it was to take a joke one step further, keep a conversation going or just comiserate about the Great Existential Ennui. She had this amazing ability to say so much with so few words. I didn’t correspond with her via email, because I sorta had a crush on her, and that always made it a bit awkward to know what to say, but I considered her a friend and a role model in how to be a better person (and yes, I know I’m married; what’s your point). And I will miss her. Oh God I’m going to miss her.”

I don’t know what else to say, except, I love you Blah, and I am going to miss you.


Author: MsAdventure

I am a twentysomething travel, photography and beauty blogger who occasionally writes about other topics. Within travel, I tend to write mostly about Europe because all the other travel bloggers seem to write about South East Asia. As a writer, I have written articles that are published in Offbeat Bride and on Buzzfeed, and as a photographer, I have taken photographs that are published in local and national news outlets in the UK. I have a blog at

2 thoughts on “Blahpolar”

  1. Blah would love your drawing. She was much more than “just the thought that counts”. She encouraged us all and made us feel like we were doing our best even when at our worst. Because all she really saw in us was that we were trying and our best was good enough for her. ❤

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