Bob Dylan, Dave Gilmour and Apocalyptica

It’s been an exciting 8 hours, and I have learned that Bob Dylan and Dave Gilmour are both touring in the UK this year (we’re definitely in 2015, right??).

So my favourite favourite band of all time is Pink Floyd. If I got stuck with one band on a Desert Island, they’d be it. If I could build a time machine, I’d go back and see Syd play “See Emily Play” along with my other favourites from their first couple of years as a band. They’re number 1 on my bands bucket list: The bands I need to see before they kick the bucket
So I regularly check the listings to see whether Roger Waters or Dave Gilmour are doing tours in 2015.

I was, in fact, checking them today, when I was crashingly disappointed to find out that Dave Gilmour’s first tour in years sold out within an hour of being announced on 6th March.  All the dates are in October.  I must have last checked hours before that got announced!  I would have known this in April if my dad hadn’t died as I was totally caught up with that until now.  To top it off, Dave (or his management, because it’s not a standard ticket condition) has insisted that to prevent ticket resale, the person who booked the tickets MUST be present with photo ID on the day of the event! So people can’t buy tickets as birthday presents, and if you’re in a group and the person who booked them is sick and can’t go, you’re going to get turned away at the door! If your circumstances change or you have a bereavement? Your tickets are non-refundable, voided and non-resaleable. This seems unreasonable conditions to impose on people who are paying to see someone perform. So no hope of last minute re-sales. I don’t think disappointed covers it. I thought I was going to start spiralling down into the blackness of depressionland again (and I’m not due for at LEAST another month or so), I mean, literally, I would have sold my car to go to this concert if that was a way to make it happen.  Or blown my meager inheritance.  I know my dad would have implicitly approved; Pink Floyd were his favourite as well, along with the venerable Bob Dylan, The Who and Jimi Hendrix.

I checked Roger Waters (because they often used to plan dates to clash with each other, back when they had a bit of a feud), and all his dates were in America (I might go to America to see him at some point). So I went to look at the Royal Albert Hall’s tickets page in case there were still some left at the venue and the “sold out” thing might have been a mistake.
No they were sold out of Dave Gilmour on all ten dates.

But they did have a scrolling banner of upcoming acts and Eric Clapton and Bob Dylan were both billed (not together, although that would have been epic).

I’ve never been the biggest Clapton fan although I totally appreciate what he did for the field of guitar music. Bob Dylan is one of my favourites, though, and the one that I never thought in a million years that I would ever get to see play live.
I excitedly went to the listing and looked at this:

Bob Dylan 2015 tour dates UK screenshot from Royal Albert Hall.
Bob Dylan 2015 tour dates UK screenshot from Royal Albert Hall.

There was only one UK date left for Bob Dylan, and best news ever, it was a Saturday sometime in October, so I looked at seats to see about getting some tickets. The only seats were those ones BEHIND the stage, that I remember looking at year on year back when I used to watch TV, whenever there was a televised performance, because I remember thinking, “why would people buy tickets to sit where they can’t see?” I still don’t understand why you’d do it to see, like, the Spice Girls or something (and y’know, when I was 11 I used to dream about being their long-lost sixth member, Jasmine Spice. Like literally go to sleep and dream this), but for Bob Dylan, I would do it.  Bob Dylan is a freaking LEGEND.

This was all about 8 hours ago, then my husband came home from a party and I excitedly bounced up to him and said, “Bob Dylan, Albert Hall, 24th October, it’s a Saturday, they’ve got a few tickets left.”
He said we’d talk about it in the morning which is responsible-person-speak for “no. And I don’t want to talk about it.” Okay, London is very far away and train tickets are generally stupidly expensive and its neither of our favourite place, in fact we both have it at the bottom of any list of places we’d like to go, next to Slough and Luton (Paris is only slightly higher on the list, give me Salzburg or Rome ANY day), and he doesn’t tend to love 60s alternative hippie music as much as I do because his parents worked for the man their entire lives and mine tuned in, turned up and dropped out, and grew me in a cloud of narcotics and other “plants.”  We are Dharma and Greg (except for the whole Kitty thing).  But Bob freaking Dylan!!!

Anyway, it’s the morning (or it was when I started writing this) and we talked about seeing Bob Dylan live in concert in October, and I pointed out that although it was in London, it WAS a Saturday, and he agreed that this WAS a once in a lifetime opportunity to see a musical legend and that even choir seats were better than missing it since we missed out on so many concerts this year due to late announcements and tickets being held for fan clubs, and that’s how he very generously bought two Bob Dylan tickets, one each, and said that mine can be my birthday and Christmas present for a couple of years.

See?  We can has tickets!!!
See? We can has tickets!!!

Excited doesn’t even cover it.  And I know this sounds awful but things happen for a reason and if I’d checked Dave Gilmour in April I wouldn’t have seen Bob Dylan’s tickets because he didn’t announce until 1st May.  So something slightly good came from losing my dad when I did.  I know my dad is looking down on me going “yay! Tickets!”

Ooh and the third band I listed in the title, what about them?  Well, I’ve had my Download 2015 tickets for a while, it’s in 2 weekends’ time, and I was looking at the line-up last night when I saw Apocalyptica were confirmed.

Which put me in mind of one of my favourites of theirs:  The Hall of The Mountain King.  Which is an awesome interpretation of a classic and reminds me of when I used to work as an Ice Dancer at Alton Towers (because they’d licensed the classical version as their “ambient music” for some areas).  Enjoy:

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Anything Can Happen Thursday: Terrible Houses

If you’re trying to sell your house, there’s lots of things you can do to spruce it up and get a better price, more views, a faster sale.  These people did none of these things.  I wish I could say they were aware enough to lower the prices into fixer-upper territory.  They did not:

At least you wouldn't be able to see all the toothpaste stains in the sink????
At least you wouldn’t be able to see all the toothpaste stains in the sink????
The above bathroom was accompanied by this kitchen, where you would have to be child-sized to actually open the cupboards and get anything out of them.  I've seen wider passages on boat galleys.
The above bathroom was accompanied by this kitchen, where you would have to be child-sized to actually open the ancient cupboards and get anything out of them. I’ve seen wider passages on boat galleys.  Also, Egads, the floor!

This next house didn’t quite measure up where it counted:

Another delicious bathroom design.
Another delicious bathroom design.  Let’s hope the new owners never need to fix the cistern.
In the same house as above, they should have used a spirit level at some point during the fitting of this kitchen...
In the same house as above, they should have used a spirit level at some point during the fitting of this kitchen…
...or a measuring tape.
…or a measuring tape.

Adding a few personal touches to this next home really helps potential buyers see themselves living here:

rghargrahg;rjhk  hwthrw ehwlhewl khwetglkweg kewlt
Where does that third window go?  Into the land of helpimdrowningunderallthisclutter!
The house also sports a psychedelic wall, for all you fans of LSD.
The house also sports a psychedelic wall of killer Yoda owls, for all you fans of LSD.
And who could forget the kid's bedroom, where you can pre-destine him/her to have PTSD before he/she even joins up.  Let's be fair, it's clearly a boy's room.
And who could forget the kid’s bedroom, where you can pre-destine him/her to have PTSD before he/she even joins up. Let’s be fair, it’s clearly a boy’s room.
Clearly the second child was NOT being pushed into being a soldier.  I sincerely hope they wanted him to DRIVE the train.  And yes, again, clearly a him.
Clearly the second child was NOT being pushed into being a soldier. I sincerely hope they wanted him to DRIVE the train. And yes, again, clearly a him.
This place could feature on some TV series about hoarders.
This place could feature on some TV series about hoarders.

These houses all had some features that really made them stand out – for all the wrong reasons:

This is a feature kitchen.  Like a feature wall, only under the stairs.  And probably wants covering up.  Or razing to the ground.
This is a feature kitchen. Like a feature wall, only under the stairs. And probably wants covering up. Or razing to the ground.
This kitchen is so embarrassed it's trying to blend in with the walls.
This kitchen is so embarrassed it’s trying to blend in with the walls.
Perhaps one of MC Escher's lesser known works, this bizarre split level bathroom makes no sense - you'd have to be six foot to comfortably use that sink, or three feet to enjoy the toilet.
Perhaps one of MC Escher’s lesser known works, this bizarre split level bathroom makes no sense – you’d have to be six foot to comfortably use that sink, or three feet to enjoy the toilet.
Yodelling? Bowling alley?  Room for a sneaky snooker table?  The real question is, what's the point of the second bath mat??  You can't get out of the bath there.  There's taps in the way.  And a window.  And why are the toilet and bath so close together when there's all this space?
Yodelling? Bowling alley? Room for a sneaky snooker table? The real question is, what’s the point of that second bath mat?? You can’t get out of the bath there. There’s taps in the way. And a window. And why are the toilet and bath so close together when there’s all this space?  So many questions!
This kitchen couldn't decide whether to be good retro (to the left) or cheapass falling apart retro (to the right).  Add to that a third possibility: White goods (at the back).  Are the bars there to prevent the cupboards from running away in shame, or because the owner was a *huge* fan of Prisoner: Cell Block H and wanted the ambience???
This kitchen couldn’t decide whether to be 60s retro (to the left) or 70s retro (to the right). Add to that a third possibility: White goods (at the back). Are the bars there to prevent the cupboards from running away in shame, or because the owner was a *huge* fan of Prisoner: Cell Block H and wanted the ambience???
I hope the arrows are pointing to the way out.  After all, who doesn't want a bedroom with three walls and two radiators and one seamless floor?
I hope the arrows are pointing to the way out. After all, who doesn’t want a bedroom with three walls and two radiators and one seamless floor?

This final house has to win the prize for the worst house ever:

Usually a wall like that separates a staircase.  And the ceiling thing looks a bit high to be a bed nook.  Mysterious.
Usually a wall like that separates a staircase. And the ceiling thing looks a bit high to be a bed nook. Mysterious.
The bath looks like a beached whale.  And why is the loo jammed in a corner when there's acres of space?
The bath looks like a beached whale. And why is the loo jammed in a corner when there’s acres of space?
This room is looking vaguely normal, but very dirty.
This room is looking vaguely normal, but very dirty and with the far right wall full of holes.
And the garden has the same floor as the kitchen.  Is it a failed extension, or did the walls fall off one of the downstairs rooms?
And the garden has the same floor as the lounge. Is it a failed extension, or did the walls fall off one of the downstairs rooms?  But the reason it gets the prize is the kitchen, below:
The sink is in the middle of the room, next to the back door.  The stairs are bizzarre, and if there were ever a house fire, the occupants would not be able to get out.  Also the walls are filthy.  You have to admire the optimism of the estate agent - this beaut was listed at around £80,000 in York.
The sink is in the middle of the room, next to the back door. The stairs are bizzarre, and if there were ever a house fire, the occupants would not be able to get out. Also the walls are filthy.  And that bed does not look like a nice place to sleep. You have to admire the optimism of the estate agent – this beaut was listed at around £80,000 in the north of England.

Doesn’t your house feel clean and well-planned now?  All those little foibles looking a bit tame?  I know mine does!  Let me know in the comments if you’re tempted to put an offer on any of these delightful habitats.

Note: I own none of these pictures.