So many things going on!!

So I totally planned to put up a tutorial video last week, did my make up, got my camera out and everything, then I never got a chance to film it. This past week and a half, I’ve been swept up in the current of events again and haven’t had any time to think about filming/editing a video, or doing much else, either. Here’s why:
1. My dissertation: The big thesis project thing that I have to write at the end of my Master’s degree. Guess what? That is now. And it needs my full attention. But it’s not getting it, because I am lazy and/or ADHD, so decided it was more important to do the rest of this list…
2. I wrote a #1 bestselling lesbian erotica story last week, edited it, got a friend to proofread, designed the cover myself and threw it at the Internet in the hope that it would land somewhere half decent. It did. I have shifted 500 copies in the last 8 hours alone. Why did I do it? To see what happened if I did. Wish Ulla was here to see this day.
3. I’m going on an away weekend with the sailing cru this weekend. It’s gonna be hella awesome (always is) and probably exhausting (always is) and hopefully nothing will capsize this time, but obviously there’s this tiny voice in the back of my mind, telling me to get on with my research.
4. My husband has accepted (like, on Wednesday) a fantastic job half-way around the world, and we have 4 months to empty the house, rent it out or sell it, and emigrate abroad. Emigration is the week before my MSc dissertation is due, so… no pressure to get THAT done early.
5. I have been researching glitter eyeshadows. I really want to buy some glitter eyeshadows and didn’t know where to look (there’s a difference between shimmer and glitter… shimmer is bad as you age, but glitter is good. And we’re talking grown-up glitter here). The options I’ve found are Make-Up For Ever Glitter, Make-Up For Ever Diamond Dust, Stila Magnificent Metals Glitter and Glow Liquid Eye Shadow, Sephora’s own brand glitter eyeshadows and Urban Decay’s Moon Dust Powder. Has anyone tried these? If I can’t find any info on which ones will give me the look I want, I’ll buy a selection (expensive though!!) and report back to y’all on what’s good. It’s sorta ridiculous that this is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE right now, given the points listed above.

So I will definitely get a half-decent article out at some point this week (it’s a shame because I’d just started posting more often than once a week or fortnight then life happened again). It will probably involve glitter eye makeup or a review of the exciting Korean sheet masks I bought today.

Breaking News… Again

So I was driving my car this morning when I drove past an accident… then 500 yards away there was a second accident at the top of the same road.  I, of course, being the heartless photographer that I am, lamented not having my DSLR camera with me (with the telescopic lens) and instead only managed to snap a few terrible shots with my cameraphone.  It was a fairly minor accident in the end although the cyclist looked unconscious when I saw him, so maybe he was going into shock (I don’t actually know the gender but I suspect male).

Anyway, I contacted the local paper where I was driving and sent in my photos – and this afternoon, they’ve published one of them with the updated article. Turns out they’d only been aware of one of the accidents before I called.  You can read the article here (mine’s just the second photo):

The article with my photo.

Eek I used my real name. Am I ready to link the two together indelibly??? I figured after I accidentally linked you a webcomic (which I’d written my name on when I was naive and thought that was how copyright worked), either y’all don’t care or my stalkers are biding their time. Either way, for the record, Jasmine Honey Adams are all legally parts of my name. Sorry to be a bitch but for future employment purposes, any comments using my real name will be deleted for the time being.  Sorry folks, I had to delete the link as someone’s getting obsessive a few days after I joked about stalkers.

I guess I just keep being in the right place at the right time.

The Basketcase Diva

Oh, bipolar antics, how we all love thee </sarcasm>. When you next get made to feel like complete shit, I want you to remember that this happened:  At 8am today, I went to the supermarket in my dressing gown.  It has bunny print all over it.  I wasn’t wearing anything under the dressing gown except my knickers.

So next time you feel like a worthless human being, like you’re not good enough to do something or like you can’t face people after what you did, just think of me in my bunny dressing gown wandering round Morrisson’s.  Security were following me around and I had to say ‘this place is classy, providing personal bodyguards for customers.’  I wasn’t really on form, I was a sugar zombie craving my own brains.

I only bought a basketload of cake and cookies. Medication-induced munchies.

I don’t know why, but instead of feeling embarrassed, I’m just vaguely amused and feeling like one of those elderly divas who insist on wearing rouge, pearls and Chanel No. 5 despite the fact that the highlight of their day is answering the door to the postman.  Wow, we have so much in common.  Except that you don’t really see women like that any more.  I guess their time has passed.  That’s kinda poignant.

Wait, no, it’s all good, there’s still Carrie Fisher carrying the torch for basketcase divas everywhere.

Perhaps next time I’ll put my hair in curlers, too.

There was a time, when I lived with my dad, when we both used to dress up in silly outfits and go to the supermarket acting like characters – we’d put on accents, have silly mannerisms… the best one was when we pretended to be Texans looking for some grits in Edinburgh’s ASDA (Wal-Mart).  We asked three different members of staff, it was hilarious.  I was so carefree and un-self-conscious back then, I would have done anything to get a laugh from someone I cared about.  I guess I stopped doing it because my husband doesn’t really laugh at stuff like that.  It’s no fun when it’s not funny.

Although it’s the complete opposite of shopping in a costume/character, going to the store in my bunny dressing gown really reminded me of how I used to be.

This article was resonant today; this dead Italian guy Sebastiano Magnanini really reminded me of myself.  You know what?  It’s really sad that he died at 46, but he lived his life in such an awesome way.  I think I might go to my grave regretting the fact that I never managed to commit an art crime in Europe.

Oh, wait, it’s all good, I had that webcomic for a few years.  That was a crime against art if ever I saw one.  Oh you want the link?  Here knock yourself out – you’re going to want to after you’ve read it. I had this one as well:  It was about vampires and werewolves.  Such things were very popular in 2008.  At one point they were both in the top 100 webcomics and getting 30,000 views a day.  Generally people’s response to Tank Quest was “I don’t get it.”  Having said that, there’s a video game named after it, and I did meet someone who understood my webcomic once. Scary. Still, it’s not quite the same sort of art crime as producing an amazing forgery or heisting the Mona Lisa from the Louvre. Never even been there, that’s how cultured I am. I took one look at the queue and said, ‘meh, let’s go back to Montmartre and have more coffee’ (coffee here meaning actual coffee and also sex), so we did. I even remember the guy’s name. I did get to see the Eiffel tower though. It kinda looks like mis-shapen scaffolding.

I stopped making the webcomic because I didn’t really know where it was going.  Then I wrote a plan to help direct it.  Then I got bored as soon as I knew how it ended. Wow that was a blast from the past, I was making those comics round the same time I was going round ASDA dressed like a ballerina (etc). Connection?

 

Alcohol party 06 Snow White 2
I don’t know *what* I was doing with my hand. I think I was waiting for a bluebird to perch on it.  That plastic cup is filled with whisky, BTW.  This was 2006. 
K9 Kings Manor Summer 09 party
That K-9 was remote controlled and that scarf and coat were handmade by me.  This was 2009.

Maybe I should change my blog name to basketcase diva…

Add photojournalist to the list.

In the peculiar way my life works, today I can add freelance photojournalist to my list of jobs.

I’ve sent some of my photos to one of the editorial (news) photo companies, and I’ve sent samples in to another, and one of them (Alamy) accepted and approved several of my photos of the York floods and they’re now available for news sources such as the BBC and worldwide national and local newspapers to use.

This isn’t the first time my photos have been in the news – I was at the scene of a very dramatic-looking car crash a couple of years ago (nobody was hurt though) and I took a photo on my phone. I wasn’t sure what to do with it though so I sent it to a local newspaper – at first, they used it without even crediting me, then they put my name to it but never paid me or informed me they were using my picture, which was annoying – I found out by searching their site for news of the crash. I think using a site like Alamy is a much better way to get into freelance photojournalism, although I’m not sure my creative pictures would cut the mustard because the standards are different.

There was a lot of faffing around to get the pictures ready and they don’t accept pictures older than 24 hours (so ;my pictures from Sunday; weren’t useable) for editorial work.  I had to edit the digital data (IPTC data) for the picture to add headline, caption, image owner etc – which it turns out you need professional picture editing software to do.    Well I had no idea what I was doing with that and all the tutorials seem to focus on what to do once you’ve got the menu in front of you, with no regard for those of us who don’t use Photoshop on all our pictures, and therefore don’t have any way of accessing that digital data.

Queue long downloads and frustration – first I downloaded a program called PhotoME which totally lied and can’t edit IPTC data if you use a Canon camera.  That was a HUGE waste of time when my images were close to timing out.  Luckily I found this 15 day free trial of something called BreezeBrowser Pro which enabled me to get the digital details in perfect order to make the pictures saleable without having to spend money on photo editing software.  It’ll at least last me until the floods and Storm Frank are over.

Those of you who have been following Invoke Delight for a while will probably remember that I’m generally against photo editing because it creates an unrealistic view of an event, and I am heavily fond of natural shots in photography (which means I resent having to own photo editing software since I prefer to get a good picture first time, every time).

If I’m ever at the scene of an event in the future, I’ll be sure to take photos just in case they’re newsworthy.

Paris

I just wanted to share this with those of you who might not be aware of it.
This evening, terrorists of some description attacked socialization hubs such as a bar, a restaurant and a concert hall in Paris. At least 40 people have been confirmed dead so far, the terrorists are still at large and as far as the news channels tell it, they’re still attacking people. Parisians have been urged to go home and stay home, and France has closed its borders with all the neighboring countries, so you cannot travel through France or enter or leave France at all right now.

I don’t understand why people keep targeting France for terrorism. How many is this now this year? Three attaks? Five? France never did anything to anyone. What the fuck? France is a fantastic country, there’s very little institutionalized racism (unlike other nearby North Western European countries) and they’re very secular. I just don’t understand why this keeps happening to innocuous countries. Earlier this year, the fuckers even attacked Australia. What next; Gibraltar????

Here’s the latest live feed from the BBC:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/world-europe-34815972

My thoughts are with all the people affected by this, and I hope the bastards who did this get caught and sentenced to the full extent of the law. No “free passes” sending them home on house arrest. Grr.

UPDATE: This #PorteOuverte tag is trending on twitter, this article explains why Parisiens are using it:

http://www.news.com.au/world/europe/porteouverte-begins-trending-on-social-media-as-paris-opens-its-doors/story-fnh81p7g-1227608732962?utm_content=SocialFlow&utm_campaign=EditorialSF&utm_source=News.com.au&utm_medium=Facebook

And I’d like to share some off-the-cuff and probably terrible verb conjugation that I feel a little strongly about:

#JeSuisParisienne
#TuEsParisien
#Il/ElleEstParisien
#NousSommesParisiens
#VousEtesParisiens
#IlsSontParisiens

Tout le monde sommes Parisiens aujourd hui.